As proud human beings, we always (or maybe I) always think that I am doing well. Well, reality hits me today. I asked my daughter earlier why she would be respectful to me and would not listen to me. I asked her how can I improve? She said:
1.) Have more time for me.
2.) Do not be busy all the time.
I think both are the same. End point – my daughter feels that I don’t love her simply because I do not have time for her, because I am around but my presence is not felt.
As a mom, it hurts when our children do not appreciate us. No mom would not love their kids. I love my kids so much but sometimes, maybe I am not making them feel what’s really inside my heart.
With all the bustles and hustles of my life right now (work at home and taking care of a baby), it is sometimes impossible for me already to take time to pause. I do not have the privilege anymore of enjoying my shower, longer sleep, more so, I do not have the time anymore to enjoy combing my hair (which I was fond of before), applying nail polish, cutting my nails, etc. I did not have time to play with my eldest daughter anymore. I did not have time to enjoy time with my daughter anymore. I was so busy with what I thought was important, but, I was missing on more important things.
So today, I want to enjoy my coffee, take a few minutes of my time to ponder what my daughter just said. I want to go back 9 years before, when I first held her in my arms. I want to feel the feeling I had when I first cradled her, sang to her and kissed her. I want to relive the moment of tranquility and completeness I had when I first heard her cry. I realized that in order for my daughter to love me, I need to show her first that I love her. Words are not enough to make her feel that I do. I need to put it in actions.
True enough, I did not intend to be the busy mom that I am. But I guess, out of my busy-ness, it would not hurt to grab a few hours to just sit and talk to my daughter, watch a movie and enjoy the company of my daughter.
I am not a perfect person and definitely not the best mom. I know I still have a long way to go and a lot more bruises to endure. But hey, wasn’t it that there’s always someone, up there, who is willing to help me? Just help me be the superwoman that He designed me to be?
Proverbs 31:28 “”Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”
This verse inspires me to become a better mom, a better wife. When I’m stuck with all the unending tasks that I need to, I need to remind myself about the very essence of who I am. I am empowered to be a woman, a mom, a wife and a daughter of God all in one. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Keeping Up the Faith 